Over the next two days, I barely saw anyone else, even though the next night, I added to Vera’s seventy grand fee with three grand to shag a thin ki...da ugly chick in the back seat of her Vauxhall Astra early on before she picked me up, and then the next night an all-guy threesome with Matt and a punter that earned us twelve and a half grand each before Vera picked me up and treated me to another night with a woman I was unfortunately getting very attached to with eighty grand wired to me to. After all who elsewould be working at a carnival?The carnies had a different way of dividing who was at the boardwalk.Insiders and outsiders. Of course the other workers were all insiders,but some of the regulars also made it into that inner circle. The kidsof the Cove Crew did. This was because of the overlap between thecarney's and Cove Crew's code and of taking care of their own, beingunited and not to take advantage of the young and the weak.The outsiders were divided into two main groups,. I felt soexposed and helpless as I stood there having to talk to thegirls as if I was one of them. They did not have any ideathat the 'little girl' that they were talking to wasactually a 22 year old male.I knew that if it were discovered who I really was I wouldbe in real trouble and stood and acted like them, acting asif they were my peers. I reached the front of the queue andsat down in front of the woman that was going to decoratemy face. I looked at her expecting her to scream out thatthis. Not really wanting to leave. I left a good tip, & excused myself with the last of the customers, kicking myself for not having worked up the bravery to ask her, it had occurred to me somewhere between the meatballs & the tiramisu… I walked down the block… almost hating myself… but not quite. I did decide that I needed to renew my reminders…. & stopped in at a gas station to buy a lighter. As I stood there at the counter, I came to the conclusion that if I were brave enough to burn myself, I.
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